1. Accepting the process

Get comfortable with not succeeding the first time. This is a journey, a series of progresses, sidesteps and setbacks. Setbacks and sidesteps are not necessarily life threatening, soul destroying or universe ending occurrences. In fact, they are usually like getting a bruise, not the most pleasant of experiences but one that will heal, and curiously, sometimes it is these directional ‘knocks’ that can send us off in to an unexpected but amazing direction.

2. Regret hurts more than Failure

Choosing not to try is the biggest failure we inflict upon ourselves. Where would we be if we refused to try from an early age? Not walking, not talking, not running and not reading. All of these skills we take for granted occurred because we tried and tried again. Trying shapes who we are and helps us grow more comfortable in who we are.

Not trying gives us an easy escape. We soothe ourselves by saying ‘I could be truly great if I tried.” Such narratives are nice but trap us into doing nothing. Few things are sadder that the person who says ‘ I always wanted to be…’ but who never tried. We cannot grow confident in who we are and our ideas if all we have is theory and dreams with no invested sweat. So invest in yourself and go out there, fail and keep growing.

3. Growing Pains are Normal

Failure and fear are uncomfortable. And it’s ok to be uncomfortable. No person flits through life knowing that he or she has a manifest destiny to succeed without some sweat, frustration and even anguish equity. Next time you find yourself getting frustrated, wondering if maybe you are not meant to succeed, or feeling like an idiot, remind yourself that you are experiencing growing pains. And growing pains are by their very nature uncomfortable. So take a breathe, maybe have a nice meltdown and then keep trucking. Or you can read The Waiting Place for some motivation.

4. Lose the 2^nd Place Complex

There is nothing wrong with second place just like there is nothing so permanently special about first place. In fact, first place has no value if there are no other competitors. And who judges anyway? The ‘race’ is with yourself. Besides being in second place is far more ideal than being in first, you get to have something to strive for, don’t need to be paranoid about who is going to knock you off the first place pedestal and you get to know you have achieved excellence in your field. I say second place is the most awesomest state to be in, all the rewards with none of that external pressure that conforms your creativity to status. So in your endeavors, shoot for greatness but don’t be cruel to yourself if you get second place.

Recite something like the Desiderata.

5.Enjoy the Process, celebrate the Results

Take your eye off the imagined prize and enjoy the journey. Choosing the path of learning, mastering and practicing skills are all things you can control. Yes, some rewards are externally reinforced, and they can be nice.  What is more enduring however, is the internal confidence of knowing you won over yourself, knowing you can keep doing this and knowing how you can improve yourself — all process driven truths. After all, when your writing your memoirs, people will be far more interested in the story you tell of your experiences than of the results you achieved on one specific date. Dare to be yourself, I promise you will do splendidly.